Thoughts on SF

10 Reasons Why SF Sucks:
1) Homelessness & mental cases
2) Suffocating self-righteousness, false sense of importance & entitlement
3) Cab fare is outrageous
4) Muni bus & the drivers. It’s a Petri dish for viral/bacterial growth. Not to also mention, it always smells like urine due to #1 reason above. I suppose going thru Chinatown doesn’t help either.
5) Road conditions will pop a Mack truck tire
6) The hills make it impossible to wear any nice pair of shoes apart from your trainers
7) Unpredictable weather
8) Perfect place for someone that really doesn’t care to own a mirror. People literally wander out in anything and not bother to brush their hair!
9) Pedestrians, they pop out from every crevice, corner, and bush
10) Dating. Invariably your ex’s new romance is somehow connected to you by 2 degrees of separation! Completely incestuous. You’re better off dating someone far, far, away or doesn’t have any friends within a 10-15 mile radius

10 Reasons Why SF Rocks:
1) Food & Wine
2) Scenic drives and hikes
3) Outdoor activities
4) Architecture, arts, and cultural events
5) Clean air & water
6) Feel & sense of a city
7) Entrepreneurial ambition
8) The GG Bridge. I suppose the Bay Bridge as well, but not during traffic
9) Rarely ever need to drive. However the daunting hills makes you wish you had a car
10) People actually enjoy reading here

Wall Street Analysis of a Gold Digger

This was posted on Craig's List:

What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250K. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor.
How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

THE ANSWER...
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation. With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Profit and Loss

Recall the kind of feeling you have when someone praises you, when you are approved, accepted, applauded. And contrast that with the kind of feeling that arises within you when you look at the sunset or the sunrise or Nature in general, or when you read a book or watch a movie that you thoroughly enjoy. Get the taste of this feeling and contrast it with the first, namely, the one that was generated within you when you were praised. Understand that the first type of feeling comes from self-glorification, self-promotion. It is a worldly feeling. The second comes from self-fulfillment, a soul feeling.

Here is another contrast: Recall the kind of feeling you have when you succeed, when you have made it, when you get to the top, when you win a game or a bet or an argument. And contrast it with the kind of feeling you get when you really enjoy the job you are doing, you are absorbed in, the action that you are currently engaged in. And once again notice the qualitative difference between the worldly feeling and the soul feeling.

Yet another contrast: Remember what you felt like when you had power, you were the boss, people looked up to you, took orders from you; or when you were popular. And contrast that worldly feeling with the feeling of intimacy, companionship – the times you thoroughly enjoyed yourself in the company of a friend or with a group in which there was fun and laughter.

Having done this, attempt to understand the true nature of worldly feelings, namely, the feeling of self-promotion, self-glorification. They are not natural. They were invented by your society and your culture to make you productive and to make you controllable. These feelings do not produce nourishment and happiness that is produced when one contemplates Nature or enjoys the company of one’s friends or one’s work. They were meant to produce thrills, excitement – and emptiness.

Then observe yourself in the course of a day or a week and think how many actions of yours are performed, how many activities engaged in that are uncontaminated by the desire for these thrills, these excitements that only produce emptiness, the desire for attention, approval, fame, popularity, success or power.

And take a look at the people around you. Is there a single one of them who has not become addicted to these worldly feelings? A single one who is not controlled by them, hungers for them, spends every minute of his/her waking life consciously or unconsciously seeking them? When you see this you will understand how people attempt to gain the world and, in the process, lose their soul. For they live empty, soulless lives.

And here is a parable of life for you to ponder on: A group of tourists sits in a bus that is passing through gorgeously beautiful country; lakes and mountains and green fields and rivers. But the shades of the bus are pulled down. They do not have the slightest idea of what lies beyond the windows of the bus. And all the time of their journey is spent in squabbling over who will have the seat of honor in the bus, who will be applauded, who will be well considered. And so they remain till the journey’s end

Emotional Stinginess

Excerpt from the article:
"Because emotionally stingy individuals view love as finite and conditional-rather than viewing it as infinite and unconditional-and because they are so miserly about how much affection they are willing to "dole out" to just about everyone in their lives, they often end up creating an atmosphere of emotional deprivation, or even full blown emotional starvation, in their households..."

To continue reading this article, click on post title above.

Are You Happy?

I find that most people struggle with this question because most cannot honestly answer it. For such a simple question it certainly can keep most people up at night. For some, it creates doubt within themselves, within others, and the world. What does happiness mean to you? We often go through life not stopping to reflect and understand what this means to us, let alone seeking answers to it. The rare moments that we do lend it a passing thought…it is exactly that…passing and fleeting. What we cannot answer, we tend to find it easier to ignore.

You can spend the most wonderful day with someone or experience something so great, at one point you could genuinely say to yourself you are truly happy. If only life could be like this every day, one would die a very happy person. When life seems unbearable and at times suffocating, we look to those happy memories in our lives for refuge -- to make life a bit more tolerable with the hope that maybe, if you're lucky, you can experience that happiness again. You can never recapture the past and we are too busy running around on a day-to-day to remember what once made us happy, if at all ever. Taking time out for a little introspection is an inconvenience. Given enough time we become desensitized to everything and you forget your “self”. We conduct our lives without thought, without feeling, and essentially without meaning. We are used to functioning in our non-thinking, non-feeling mode, going through life doing things we are "supposed" to do, keeping up with the race to survive. What are we trying to save ourselves from exactly? It appears we are trying to survive and save ourselves from each other because we are all in a mad frantic rush for something at the end of the treadmill.

When you’re around people that are just like you, running on the same treadmill for years it becomes a reality of life and that's the only life you know. You cannot imagine it being any other way. Are we merely socialized to run the race and just accept it? We create our own reality and world wherein we produce a whole bunch of stuff, promoting mass consumerism by placing value and importance on them. We begin to equate happiness with material objects. He who has the most and shiniest things...surely must be the better person and the happiest, right? So we compete in the race, chasing after material wealth and stuff, and more stuff. We are reduced to a bunch of squabbling, clawing, and hoarding pack rats. If these things brought happiness, why are we compelled to replace them so frequently? When is it ever enough or good enough? Then years pass by and you're still running, but now you're not too sure what you're chasing after anymore or why. You begin to realize you are no better off now than when you started, except now you own a lot of crap. But none of those things brought you any of the happiness you thought they would. You are alone with just your "self" again, but now you are older and worn from the race. You feel lost and wonder where did all the time go. All the things you've collected all begin to disintegrate before your eyes. What's left is just you and what do you find? The same familiar and unbearable void that has always been there. To borrow a line from Breakfast at Tiffany’s, “no matter where you run, you will always run into yourself…”

Surely, we need material things and income to sustain our livelihood. However, it cannot be a good thing if it comes at the expense/sacrifice of your “self” and what truly brings happiness to your life. You are human before you are anything else. You are lost, with no real purpose or meaning, looking to empty things for answers but to only find yourself staring back, at you. It’s an incredibly lonely place. An author wrote, “happiness is not wanting what you do not have, but wanting what you do have…” appreciating the simple things in life that have no monetary value. Happiness as you may have once faintly remember, are those forgotten memories of genuine joy that were shared and experienced through human connections. It’s not about chasing after these connections but appreciating them as they trickle into your life for however long or brief they may be. It is through human bonds and sharing that our soul and spirit is nurtured and enriched by. These connections bring a unique experience, a humbling understanding that cannot be manufactured, produced for purchase, learned through books or any material medium, and cannot be taken away from you. It is the pain, the joy experienced -- all braided together to make up what is life. A well lived happy life is not forgetting to be human, to cry, to laugh, to love. It's the consistent nurturing of each others soul and the heart that will open us up to give and receive unconditionally and infinitely. That is what happiness is, that is what life is worth living for.

A Friend's Wisdom

"Completely understand your preference for one on ones rather than socializing en masse. That sense of everything being so painfully superficial much of the time was one of the reasons I ended up on retreat in Uruguay. But of course there I had to discover (also somewhat painfully) that actually no-thing is ultimately satisfying. No connection, no conversation, no person, no location, no meditation can ever truly fulfill that incessant longing for something much deeper. It was there that I realized it was actually my grasping for something more that was the cause of my suffering. It is the searching for something other than what is right here that is so agonizing. Once I was able to stop looking for something deeper/better/different/more meaningful I accidently stumbled upon the peace and love that is always here, even though the mind often looks right past it and misses it. Hard to put into words, but this realization has revolutionized my world. And made it easier to talk to about anything, whether that be the weather or parties or vacations. Of course I'll probably always have a preference for talking about internal worlds and internal processes but it feels freeing to feel more at ease in anybody's company and in any conversation."